At its heart, an amateur lesbian relationship is defined by a lack of inherited script. Heterosexual relationships come with centuries of cultural shorthand: who asks whom out, who pays for dinner, how a proposal looks, what roles in a marriage entail. Lesbian relationships, particularly in their formative or "amateur" stages, are built from scratch.

: Experts recommend maintaining a healthy balance between personal identity and the relationship to avoid codependency.

When we talk about amateur relationships in the context of storytelling—whether in webcomics, indie films, or self-published fiction—we are talking about .